Existential Crisis

Have you ever lied awake at night, your mind wandering to all sorts of things, and eventually it settles on the afterlife? Suddenly you start to fear the idea of not existing when you die.

It happens to me all the time. The worst thing to me is the idea of my thought no longer existing. Regardless of pain I feel, existing is my favorite thing. If I didn’t exist, I couldn’t think. I could never accomplish anything, I could never move forward, but most of all, I just wouldn’t be here.

It’s kind of weird that a lot of people I talk do don’t have this same thought process. However, my “existential crisis” as you might call it never gets too bad. I have faith in Jesus that I believe means I get to spend eternity in heaven. I’ll never cease to exist, because of God’s love for me.

I cannot fathom how difficult this would be for atheists with the same fear. They have nothing to comfort them. The closest thing I’ve heard to comfort for them is that after they’re dead it will not matter that they don’t exist, because they won’t know they don’t exist. To me that re-iterates my fear. The fear is the not existing, not the feeling of not existing. The fear is my consciousness ceasing.

Just this week I turned 25 years old. I joked about having my quarter-life crisis, yet in terms of how I feel about how fast life is moving and how short life is, I’m not completely joking.

Yet I know my fears are illegitimate. My faith in the Lord is stronger than my fear, and every time I pray for comfort in those times of existential crisis, it is granted to me and my thoughts move to heaven and God’s love.

For a good time, I recommend reading the first part of Revelations 21. It begins with a beautiful piece that always brings comfort and positive thoughts. Try it out!